Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Tuesday Teaser - The Dreaded Opening

Yeah, yeah. I know what you're thinking. Sheesh! Is she posting about her flippin' opening again!? Sorry, kids. I had another post planned, but I didn't have time to write it, so maybe tomorrow? We'll see.

After my experience with the Secret Agent contest and a few more awesome critiques, I think my opening is a lot better, if not perfect yet. I've beefed it up quite a bit, making it twice as long but, hopefully, less confusing and telling than it was before.

All honest comments are welcome. I always have my seven stages to fall back on. :)

Thanks for reading! Happy Tuesday!

*****

Removed.

7 comments:

  1. I really like this. Right away, I like her and am concerned for her and intrigued by her. Good work.

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  2. This is much improved! :D So glad to have you back, Abby, and congrats on your edits going well! Woot!

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  3. Wow! What happened? I'm so intrigued. I think you're off to a great start here Abby. :)

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  4. I think this is a great beginning. I agree with Tricia, I care for her right away.

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  5. This flows much better from the initial opening to the strange things happening to her. Great voice and quickly draws the reader in.

    Keep up the good work!

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  6. Tricia: Thank you! That was something one of my critters noted--that there was no reason to like her in the beginning or even care what was happening to her, so yea!

    Becca: Thanks! I'm glad to be back. It's taking me a while to get back into the swing of things, and the editing is going much slower than I would like, but it's coming along. :) Life keeps getting in the way, as usual.

    Ali: Thank you! I'm so excited for you!

    LW: Thanks! Like I told Tricia, that was something one of my critters noted--that there was no reason to like her in the beginning or even care what was happening to her, so yea! I'm glad you both feel that way. :)

    Tere: Thanks! I'm hoping this one sticks. :)

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  7. I haven't read any of your other openings, but would like to say that I quite like this one, particularly the detail about the glass marble.

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